Monday, August 20, 2012

What The #@$%#@*& !!


                                                             (Bottom Row, 2nd from right)

My mother lives alone in a 2 bedroom condo in downtown Chicago. It's not a huge place but perfect for her.  She made the second bedroom a den/office. On the wall she had(yes, notice the word HAD) 5 pictures. All the wedding photos of her 4 children and in the center a really old refurbished picture of her mother and father's (my grandparents) wedding picture. That picture is a classic. Well, unfortunately as life goes all my siblings got divorced. Sad but it happens.  I'm the black sheep of the family because I have stayed married to my original spouse the longest(21 years this October). Well, my mother is her infinite wisdom decided she did not want to look at all the ex-spouses of her beloved children and removed the pictures(except the old pic of my grandparents) and replaced them with whatever was the last picture her children had taken. Well, I found out by going to her condo and not only seeing all the pictures removed but seeing what pic of mine she put up. She put up my freshmen year in college pic from the fraternity house I lived in. BRUTAL!!!!  I had the Jullet (Jewish Mullet) going on and looked like a total dweeb. (though now at age 47, I would kill for the amount of hair I had). I'm thinking, "What the F*ck Mom, I get penalized for being married to my original spouse? That is not right"  So I look at my mom and say "Hey, what is up with the new pictures?"  She disregarded what I said and asked me what she could make for me to eat(Standard Jewish Mother response to any uncomfortable situation). Then to see if my mother was listening to me, I say to her, "You know Mom, you're going into a home soon, it's just a question of whether it's a good home or a bad home, so keep this crap up" She again answers with "Do you want your crust cut off on your grilled cheese sandwich"  Let alone my wife, who was also there, was thinking, "So I'm not married to you anymore, huh? Good I was ready to date anyhow" So as it goes, all my siblings remarried really nice people and all the married pictures went back up. Glad to see that horrible pic of me off the wall but really would kill to have that amount of hair again.