I Didn't Order That Porn

It's December 2015 and I along with my wife and 17 year old daughter are picking up my 21 year old daughter in Europe where she's been studying for the last 4 months. So we get to her in London(Where her school was) and spend the next 10 days seeing Europe before we head back to the the USA.  4 days in London, 2 days in Amsterdam and the last 4 days in Paris.
    Absolutely the best vacation we've ever been on.  First time to Europe for all of us.  Sightseeing, eating at great restaurants and just soaking in the entire experience.  Well, the last leg is Paris and we take a train from Amsterdam arriving in Paris around 10:30 PM.  Its raining, dark outside and we are in a country really foreign to us.  After about 30 minutes we get to our hotel.. A quaint hotel in downtown Paris off a side street.  We check in and I had been getting 2 rooms for the 4 of us the entire trip.  Not sure if this true or not but I've been informed by my wife and daughters I have a bit of a snoring problem(Again no real evidence of this but the word of 3 evil women I live with)..So my 17 year old says "Mom, I'll share a room with Dad so you can get a good night sleep" WHAT?!?!?!?..My teenage daughter of the self absorbed addicted to screens generation taking one for the team? Some things you just don't question.  My wife and oldest go to their room which was on the 2nd floor and my youngest and I go to our room on the 3rd floor.  Now if you've ever been to Europe, you know that for the most part the hotel rooms are small...Not only where the rooms small but the walls were thin.  How do I know that the walls were thin? Just as my daughter and I are unpacking we hear something coming from the room next to us.  There is a man and woman in the room and they are having sex.  Actually they were having extremely loud sex!   NOT GOOD!!!!  I mean we're hearing things like "Oh Baby" YES YES YES"  and a number of other phrases that I'm not going to write here. FILL IN THE BLANKS FOLKS!!  So I'm standing there frozen  with an unreal feeling of massive awkwardness that actually surpassed the massive awkwardness I had the night before walking Amsterdam's  Red Light District with my 21 year old("Yes,Sydney there are A LOT of hookers in Amsterdam"). My immediate reaction is to say to my daughter "get in the bathroom now!"  She does and thankfully the aerobic class next door ended quickly...I proceed to leave my room (my daughter was probably still in the fetal position in the bathroom) and go directly to my wife's room.  I walk in and say "When we get back home you need to schedule 2 separate therapy sessions for Cam and me.
We just had a very bad Dad/Daughter experience."  My wife and oldest laughed until they're crying.  I go back to the room and act as if nothing happened..I kiss my youngest and got into bed and thought "That did not just happen, no way"
  The next morning I get up and leave my room to go get some coffee. Who should be walking out of their room at the same time? Yes, John Holmes and Linda Lovelace from next door. Actually they were not what I expected. Instead of Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen,(Does any guy hear stuff like that and fantasize about ugly people?) they were more like a young couple who were more interested in a breakfast buffet than the Eiffel Tower, if you know what I mean.  So after that night, my wife once again was my roommate and I'm still trying to block that memory out of my mind.