Insert Foot in Mouth

The year is 1991 and I'm on my honeymoon with my new young bride (who is still putting up with me 20 years later).  We both had little money at the time so our travel agent said that we could stay in a nice resort for 7 days or 10 days at not so nice(some might describe it as a "Dump") resort. Of course, we chose the latter so we could have a longer honeymoon. Well. here are some of the lowlights of the resort:

1) The balcony of our room had a ginormous water boiler on it. Nice

2) The gift/sundry shop was open 1 day out of the 10 days we were there and the day it was open, it was open from 1:00 P.M. -1:15 P.M. Really nice

3) Our room overlooked where the employees showered, so we got a show everyday. Unfortunately for us, the employees looked more like Rosie O' Donnell and Chris Farley than Brad Pitt and Heidi Klum

So as in most all-inclusive resorts, you're seeing the same people day in, day out. At our resort, there where a lot of Europeans, especially Germans. There was one fellow from Germany that had the disease alopecia. Alopecia is where you have no hair on your body at all. This man had no hair on his head and no eyebrows. You get the picture. So as our trip is going on, we would always notice this man because unfortunately he did stick out in the crowd. It is the 2nd to last day of our trip and we're in the main restaurant having lunch. As we are eating, my wife says ( and kind of loudly) "I wonder where the bald guy is? I haven't seen him all day"  Well, This man is sitting directly behind my wife and a table about 2 feet away. I look down at my meal and said quietly "He's right behind you"  My wife turned white(which was tough to do because after 9 days in Jamaica, she had a great tan). Never missing an opportunity to humor myself (even at the expense of my new bride and future mother of my daughters) I say "You know, if there's one word in the English language this guy knows it's BALD"  To this day, my wife and I always have a good laugh on our anniversary thinking about that.