Captain Impulse

I like to think that I'm that I'm a decisive person but others may call it being impulsive. This next story will confirm the latter.  It was 2008 and I was looking to get a new car. Let me preface this by saying I've never been a car guy. What I mean is I don't need the fanciest or most expensive new car out there. I want a solid dependable car that gets me from A to B. I've never owned a BMW, Mercedes or the like.  Well, about 10 years ago I had such bad back problems ( Actually my piriformis muscle was really messed up-The piriformis muscle is a huge muscle that goes from you ankle to your butt) that I actually had to get rid of my Toyota Camry because if I drove it for more than 20 minutes, I'd be in pain for 3 days. So I had to find a car that my back could take. It ended up being a Ford Escape. Great little SUV that worked perfectly on my back. So now about 4 years go by and I'm thinking I might want a new car. Probably should just get the newer version of the Ford Escape, knowing that it works with my back issue but that would be too easy. In my infinite wisdom, I decide that if I can find a high end (BMW, Mercedes, Volvo or the like) truck in a price range I could live with, I would go that route. Looking on a bunch of car websites, something catches my eye( this was about 2 days after I decided to look for a new car). CARMAX had a Cadillac SRX ( a station wagon on steroids) that was only a year old, had about 15,000 miles on it and was right in my price range.  It's at a CARMAX about 45 minutes away from me and of course, I drive out there that afternoon.  The car salesman at CARMAX takes me out to see the car. It's a beauty. Fully Loaded. Great looking car. I take it for a test drive and decide I love it( test drive was about 2 blocks in the car lot). I call my wife and tell her about it. My wife knowing me and my impulsive nature says "You sure you want that car? Don't you have to be 70 to own a Cadillac?"  I tell her it's really nice. She says, "I know you're going to get it so just do it"  CARMAX has a policy that if you change your mind within 5 days, you can return the car you bought( REMEMBER THIS STATEMENT). I sell them my Ford Escape and then buy the Cadillac. I'm feeling great. I drive it home and it just so happens that my Father-in-Law is there standing with my wife on my driveway. As I get out, my Father-in- Law (who is 70 at the time) says "NICE CAR!" My wife just shrugged. The next day I drive to play golf in the morning and I feel a little twinge in my back. Uh oh. No way. This great new car cannot be hurting my back. I play golf and drive back. The Twinge in my back is getting worse. This is not good. Also, not good is that I'm about to get pulled over by an Illinois State Trooper for speeding. I pull to the shoulder and State Trooper (who looked pretty angry-maybe I interrupted his donut break) is eye balling my new car as he's writing me a speeding ticket. He says "The Caddies go mighty fast, don't they?"  Oh brother.  After I was handed the ticket by Officer Friendly I decided right there, the car is going back. This was bad Karma. The back pain, the ticket and all in just 2 days of owning the car. So I called CARMAX and said I changed my mind so I want to return the car. I could bring it back tomorrow and they could give me back Ford Escape I sold them. GUESS AGAIN. CARMAX's 5 day return policy only pertains to cars you buy not cars you sell them. So I was informed I can't get my Ford Escape back. I was steaming. All I wanted to do was get my old car back and forget about this. Nope. I spoke to everyone at CARMAX except the guy who washes the cars and was told the same thing. We own your old car. I still wanted to get rid of the Bad Karma Cadillac. So my plan was to take the car back the next morning when they open, get my money back and then go buy the newest version of the Ford Escape. Not happy but no problem. CARMAX did tell me that the car had to come back with no damage to it or they would not refund my money. I thought no problem but GUESS AGAIN. My wife was not around and I had to take my youngest to a birthday party at the municipal pool in my town. Now the pool was built in 1961 so the parking lot was built then too and the biggest cars they had to worry about were station wagons and not today's SUV monstrosities that every suburban mom seems to be driving. I drive my daughter to the pool and park so far away in the parking lot that we almost had to take a taxi to get her to the actual pool.  Survived that. Now it's the next morning and I have to get the Cadillac back to CARMAX in one piece. I'm driving on the highway about 35 miles per hour with my hazard lights on in the middle lane. I must have looked like a total mental patient but I didn't care. My wife is following me because I need a ride home and she's laughing the entire time. We get to the CARMAX return the car and get my money back. My wife drops me off at the Ford dealership and I buy a new Ford Escape like you might buy a candy bar.  No haggling, negotiating.  I like that color, let's go with it. 4 years later I still have that car and have been banned by my wife and financial planner from looking at car websites.