The River Never Gets Deeper than 2 Feet....NOT!

The summer of 2008, my family took a long weekend to New Buffalo, Michigan. Great little town. New Buffalo has one main street with some antique stores, an old fashioned ice cream parlor and a restaurant that serves one mean burger. We stayed at the only resort which actually was fairly new and nice. Really relaxing time. One of the days there we decided to go canoeing  I found a tour company online that offered canoeing, kayaking and other outdoor activities that impressed me enough to sign up the family for a 3 hour canoe trip down the river. Everyone was pretty excited. It's about a 1 1/2 hour drive until we get to the tour company that had all of this outdoor activity and found out quickly that they put all there money into a fancy website. The place was located on basically an abandoned lot and there was a 18 year old kid sitting in front of a tool shed. Not feeling really good about this,I asked if this was the tour company that I found online and he replies "Yep, website is kind of deceiving ain't it?"  Terrific. This kid isn't even intelligent enough to lie to us. I figure we came this far so let's see what we have. The kid shows us 2 canoes that seems safe enough and gives us life preservers to wear. He tells us to just stay on the river path (which was about 20 feet wide) and the canoe will basically guide itself. I ask if there are any waivers I need to sign and he looks at me with a stupid look and says "Nope". (I'm guessing they figure anything horrible happens, I get the tool shed and the canoes in a lawsuit).  The last thing the kid says is "Don't worry, the river never gets deeper than 2 feet"  Off we go.  I have my youngest daughter( 9 years old at the time) with me and my wife has my oldest daughter(13 years old at the time) in her canoe. The canoe trip is kind a of boring because the river is really narrow with not a lot to see but woods to either side of us and the river is fairly calm. At about the 2 hour mark my wife and oldest daughter get stuck in some dead trees and bushes that fell into the river. They are stuck and can't get themselves loose. I paddle back towards them and sitting in my canoe, I can't get them out. I tell them, I'm going to get out of my canoe and get them loose. As I climb out of my canoe and into the river, I realize that the water is about 50 degrees.  Even with the temperature outside being 80, this water was cold but I'm not planning on standing in it too long. I'm going to get the girls loose and jump back into my canoe. Well, I take one step towards my wife's canoe and WHUUPFFFHH!!!!  I drop into about 5 1/2 feet of water!!!!  My head is the only part of my body above water. I'm not happy!  My wife and kids after the initial surprise of me dropping into this deep water just lose it and start laughing hysterically. I can't blame them. It had to look funny. I didn't find it funny though. Also, as a reminder if you didn't remember, the water is freezing. I figure at minimum I'm going to have to get a fork to dig my family jewels out of my stomach where they have retreated to. I climb out of the deep end and onto a log. Still freezing my ass off, I get the girls loose. We get back on our way. I then realize that my cell phone was clipped to my belt which two minutes ago was submerged under water for 5 minutes like the rest of my body. Great! Now my cell phone is trashed. I'm really getting angry now. My youngest ask me "Dad, how much longer do we have until the end?" I say about an hour which at that point it clicks in that I have to sit in wet clothing for the next hour. Again, not happy. We finally get to the end of this ordeal. The kid from the tool shed is waiting there (he drove to get the canoes) and takes a good look at me. He says "Did ya decide on going swimming?" I'm seething and trying to stay calm. I say to him "No swimming,just happened to find the one part of the river that is over 5 feet deep".  He says "By the dead tree and bushes? Oh yeah, I probably should've told you about that" 

Ya think Gomer?