Someone Really Needs to Feed Bambi

It's 1996 and my wife and I decide to take a summer vacation with our 2 year old daughter. Nothing major but a long weekend at a place called the Wisconsin Dells. The Wisconsin Dells is about 3 hours from Chicago and it's basically Disney World for hillbillies. It has water parks, Go-Carts, Weird attractions(Ripley's Believe It or Not! Museum, Circus World, etc...) and bad food...Oh, almost forgot to mention, due to a lot of people from the Chicago suburbs taking advantage of how close the Wisconsin Dells is, the hotels, attractions and restaurants all jack up their pricing to stupid levels. (Ex. Paying $250 a night for a hotel room that isn't much nicer than a Motel 6 room). So we drive up and get ready for a weekend of fun, food and toothless people. The 1st attraction we decide to go to is a place called Deer Park. Deer Park is a 28 acre enclosed forest where the shtick of this place is that there are deer walking around freely and you can feed them.(Sadly,you know they don't feed the deer that well which makes them approach people) Sounds like a good way to kill an hour. We enter the park( after paying a ridiculous entrance fee) and start walking around. Pushing my toddler in a stroller we see some deer and people feeding them. I go to the place where you can get deer food and purchase a couple of packets of what looks like large graham crackers but for deer. The next thing that happened was nuts. The second I purchased the packet of food, all these deer start coming out of nowhere. I mean all of a sudden there are about 4 deer walking up to me. It's like they had sonar that told them "Some dumbass just bought that $8 packet of food, let's eat!" Now, another 6 deer arrive on the scene and my wife starts pushing my daughter in her stroller away from the deer. Meanwhile, I can't get the packet of food open. I mean, I'm trying my hardest to open this packet and it's not opening. It's not like it was 2011 and all food packaging is safety sealed. Now as I'm attempting to open this packet that is sealed up better than Fort Knox, the 10 deer are starting to surround me. I'm not afraid of animals but this was getting to be a tenuous situation. As I'm continuing to try to open this packet, I'm looking at the deer and they're looking at me like "Dude, we haven't been fed in days and if you don't get that packet open soon, there's going to be trouble" Now, my demented mind is thinking "The 1st deer that approaches me aggressively, I'm going to pop in the mouth" Yes, I'm contemplating getting into a fist fight with a deer!( You know that wouldn't have ended well on my end.) My wife is saying to me(from about 40 yards away), "Just drop the packet and let's go." Now with the deer getting closer to me and my wife figuring out how she makes a claim on my life insurance( "Yes, he couldn't get the food packet open, so the deer killed him"), I finally bust the packet open. The crackers spill on the ground and the deer go at it like a sharks to blood. I back away quickly and tell me wife "Let's get the hell out of here." We leave hoping my 2 year old hasn't been traumatized. The rest of the weekend was fun and to this day we laugh about how I almost got into a fist fight with a deer.