Is It Hot Enough For Ya?

I just got back from a speaking gig in Dallas. To say it was hot in Dallas is like saying the Titanic was a minor boating accident. It was HOT! I've been to Jamaica, Mexico and Florida in the summer and nothing compared to this. I think Dallas has had 32 straight days of temperatures over 100 degrees. (The record is 50 straight days and that is currently held by the SUN!). My entire goal for the 2 days there was to try to stay as cool at any cost. I land in Dallas and need to take a cab to my hotel. During the 5 minute wait at the cab stand, I sweat through my t shirt. (Luckily I packed 5 t shirts for this trip knowing that it was going hot as hell). I get to the hotel and check in. So far so good. NOT! The hotel that I was put up in doesn't have a restaurant and I need dinner. I walk 2 blocks to a Mexican restaurant and have a really good meal. Walk back to the hotel and sweat through t shirt #2. Now my biggest dilemma is figuring out how I am going to walk to the convention center where I speaking the next day (Convention center was literally across the street from the hotel-about 200 yards) without my suit disintegrating. I decide that I will walk over in shorts and a t shirt and change into my suit at the convention center. As I walk to the convention center sweating through t shirt #3, I not sure if I'm hallucinating but I think I see a fire hydrant flagging down some dogs. Get to the convention center, change into my suit and do my speaking session. Everything went well and now it's time to go to the airport. I change into shorts and t shirt #4 and grab a cab. The entire 30 minute drive to the airport the cab driver is complaining about the heat and he's from Nigeria! I arrive in Chicago and an unbelievably pleasant 75 degrees. Now anyone that knows me knows that I can't take Chicago winters anymore and as soon as my youngest daughter goes to college, me and the Mrs. are moving someplace warm. Florida, Arizona, Argentina. Anywhere warm just not Dallas!