Only in Vegas!

My industry(promotional products) has it's annual convention every year in Las Vegas in mid January. I've been going to this event for 9 years. I understand Las Vegas is a great place for business meetings/conventions because there is so much to do at night.(Actually you can abuse your worst vice 24 hours a day, 7 days a week there). For me it's business during the day, great meal at night and then hang out with co workers or friends from my industry at a hotel/casino. We stay at the Mandalay Bay which works well because they have a convention center there so I never  have to leave the complex(also means that I will not see natural light or breathe fresh air for 72 hours). Also let me tell you that this particular week there were 3 main conventions.  The promotional products convention(Mine), the Handgun/Weapon convention and the Adult Video Awards convention(The Academy Awards for Pornos). So you could get yourself a nice gun and a hooker while probably collecting a few bad pens with a logo on them.

Let me tell you the 2 things that stood out for me

You may know or not know that prostitution is illegal in downtown Las Vegas.  The hotels don't want hookers strolling around their lobbies and casinos. Yeah, that works well. NOT!!!  I always get a kick out of seeing a middle age guy in a bad suit from Pigsknuckles, Nebraska arm and arm with a woman that is wearing 6" heels, really small hot pants and a tube top from 1977. The bonus is that she probably can get you Meth cheap. Anyways, I always see if I can spot a hooker when I'm out(Kind of like a degenerate game of "Where's Waldo?"). On this night I'm walking around the casino floor of Mandalay Bay by myself and spot a hooker. Then another one. Now I see 2. Then a group of 6. I normally don't see that many in a 4 day trip. I walk back the to blackjack table my buddy is at and he says "What is going on here tonight?" I reply, "Either the Porn Convention folks are filtering into our hotel or someone just dropped off 5 busloads of hookers!"

The next thing I saw, I couldn't make up. Our convention(promotional products) had an unbelievable amount of people riding the Weasel Scooter(you've seen it advertised on TV and for Seinfeld fans, there was an episode where George scammed using one). These things are basically electrical baby elephants. They take up a lot of space, move slow and the people using them(who by the way, the median age of the typical Weasel Scooter user is 87 years old) have no clue how to operate them.  They were everywhere. It was nuts. The night after HookerFest, I'm going down to meet people for dinner. As I get off the elevator, there's a big crowd of people milling around the elevator banks/lobby. Across from the large group of people is a petite Hispanic maid of the hotel pushing a mini dumpster on wheels(kind of Wheel Barrow on Steroids). All of a sudden the crowd of people move to one side and there is a woman, about 103 years old, attempting to get through with her Weasel Scooter. The crowd is on one side and maid with dumpster is on the other side against a wall when the geriatric Dale Earnhardt, Jr. guns it and veers left really hard right into the dumpster with the maid behind it. This little Hispanic maid is pinned against the wall with the dumpster. She cannot move. I can't believe what I'm seeing. The senior citizen is confused, the maid is getting crushed and everyone else is in utter amazement. None the less, a few of us grabbed the scooter and freed the maid. I think I laughed for about 10 minutes at what I just saw.

Only in Vegas!