Movie Night

I am somewhat of a movie snob. As it may come to a shock to anyone reading this, I'm extremely picky when it comes to movies. I might see 1 or 2 a year and they have to be either the Academy Award Winner for Best Picture or a really good movie that makes me think. I'm not into Rom-Coms(Romantic Comedy), ridiculous over the top special effect blockbusters or comedies that are just plain unfunny(Can you do anything better than that Steve Carell?). Also, if  I see a movie that I did not like or if it royally sucked(The Artist), I may ban the industry for a year and see no movies. So now you know that when it comes to movies(like a lot of things in my crazy ass life) I'm a psycho.
   So this past Friday night my wife and i decide to go see a movie. We choose a small theater complex close to us that shows the artsy fartsy films that the masses usually don't go to see. The complex has 6 small theaters in it and we choose a foreign film about an Arab surgeon who has assimilated in Israel and finds out his wife is a suicide bomber that just killed about 17 people including 11 children. Deep flick and just reinforced to me that there is no need to ever continue peace talks between the Israelis and the Arabs because these kids will never get a long. That is probably the last time you will ever hear me speak about my political or religious views( unless I need to tell you folks something funny that pertains to politics or religion)
   What I have to tell you about is the actual experience of this movie theater. The theater only had 30 seats in it. These were not your normal movie seats.  These bad boys were full leather electronic recliners. I'm not talking about reclining a bit to give you a Laz E Boy effect, I'm talking about this chair reclining to the point where its basically the equivalent of you lying on your couch long ways watching TV at home. The only thing missing was the Snuggie you have to keep you cozy. This was easily the most comfortable I've ever been at a movie theater. Picture 30 people lying on their couches at home watching a movie. Better yet, picture 30 people at a Senior Center on their couches watching a movie. My wife and I were the youngest people there with the next youngest people being about 97 years old. Some of these folk's first movie was The Ten Commandments and I'm not talking about the one with Charleton Heston as Moses, I'm talking about the one with the REAL Moses. The next thing that happened could only happen in this theater filled will geriatric affluent Jewish people.  Before the movie starts, the Manager( I believe he was the oldest usher and only usher there not on drugs) says that they sold 30 tickets but there are 31 people needing seats. He goes on to say that if you don't have your ticket stub, then you have to leave. Oh yeah, that went over really well. Why didn't he just say "Anyone know if Hitler is spelled with one T or two T's?"..None the less, ticket stub or no ticket stub no one was moving an inch( I think most of the theater goers would need some help from a physical therapist to get out of these chairs anyhow)...I'm not sure what happened but they figured it out and the movie began. So we're watching this deep movie and at about the hour mark, something is happening. Think about yourself at home alone watching a movie relaxed on your couch. Think about what happens next. That's right, the bodily functions start kicking in. All of a sudden, the theater has become the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles.  I'm not talking about a little bitty passing of wind, we're talking about the seniors letting go some serious bombs. It must have been busy at the early bird special at the deli in town. Let's not forget what also happens when very relaxed on the couch. Half the crowd is sleeping and dreaming about the corned beef on rye they had 3 hours earlier(which lucky for me, I get to hear via the air biscuits they're launching) So now in this intense movie, my wife and I are like 7 year old kids in school after a classmate farts in the middle class. We're laughing hysterically and can't believe what is going on. Well, the movie ended and most of the audience woke up to leave. Easily the most relaxing and entertaining movie I've seen in years and by the way, I probably wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone.